Nobody knows the real me. Nobody knows how many times I've sat in my room and cried, how many times I've lost hope, how many times I've been let down. Nobody knows how many times I've had to hold back to tears, how many times I've felt like I'm about to snap but don't just for the sake of others. Nobody knows the thoughts that have gone through my head whenever I'm sad, and how horrible they really are...

My Mother Told Me - “Be the Best You Can Be”

My mind was at rest and I was really able to think about the chorus of that song which was an amazing qualities of a mother and how they are misunderstood.

Kneel down, hands up, close your eyes
Wash the plates, and your clothes, clean those tiles
all those things and many more
Priceless values that you taught made me who I am today

So, I decided to write… to my mothers!

“I no dey crase when I say make you wash the pot” - To my mother, I say thank you. For the discipline and the training. The trips to the market, learning the difference between fresh vegetables and others. For teaching me that washing dishes and clearing up while cooking at the same time will not kill me, but instead make kitchen more organized.

“All along you wanted me to be the best that I can be.” – To my mother, I say thank you. For ensuring that I studied when I NEEDED to study. For telling me over and over that I once I passed and got good grades, I’d be able to watch as much TV as I wanted. The love and the care along with the strict. 

“One day, you go grow old and start your own family” – To my mother, I say thank you. You taught me to be strong. You taught me to find a joke and a reason to smile even in the darkest of situations.

“You gonna have to learn before you can be the best the best you can be” – To my mother, I say thank you. For the warmth of your smile and the humility of your heart. You taught me to always aim for a career. In all that, remembering to remain grounded and keeping focus on what was important, like family. I love you very much for it.

“I didn’t see the tears you cried for me, I didn’t hear the prayers that you said on your knees” – To my mother, I say thank you. For never giving up on me. For being the mother you needed to be and for being my friend when I needed one. You taught me to embrace my imperfections.

I love you MOMS! Now and always.

I feel so honored to have more than one mother and I pray that I’m half as awesome as all my mothers. 

Read your books, 

choose good friends,
Get wise, 

learn to cook, 

be organised,
Don’t tell lies,
All of these and many more..
You gonna have to learn before you can be the best...

Happy Mothers’ Day

THINK

"don't mix bad words with your bad mood. you'll have many opportunities to change a mood, but you'll never get the opportunity to replace the words you spoke."

anonymous

*

"if you think the grass is greener on the other side, it's fertilized with bullshit."

anonymous

*

suffering is pain that feels yet unheard and unloved. 

healing is pain that feels loved and listened to. 

mary armstrong

*

no one can change a person, but a person can be the reason someone changes.

anonymous

*

well, that was a shit idea.

anonymous

*

legend say, when you can't sleep at night, you're awake in someone else's dream.

anonymous

*

it's just a bad day. not a bad life.

anonymous

*

stop the glorification of busy.

anonymous

*

i may not be there yet, but i'm closer than i was yesterday.

anonymous

*

Hati Berbicara

A fake smile can hide a million tears

MISS YOU

Again, I was a bit sad and down sebab teringat masa depan aku.. 

Sebenarnya...

Aku rindu dia, kau!!! Aku rindu kau, sangat-sangat! kau mesti tak tahu kan..? Dan kau mesti tak rindukan aku macam aku rindukan kau.. *As expected.. Sokay, I understand.. =)

Aku tak tahu mana nak start.. Aku tak tahu macamana aku nak layan kau macam kawan-kawan aku yang lain.. Sumpah! Aku rindu nak cakap dengan kau, gelak ketawa dengan kau, buli kau.. Perlu ke aku jauhkan diri dari kau...?

Sebab...

Bila dekat dengan kau, kau tahu yang aku takkan layan kau macam kawan aku yang biasa.. Kau tahu tu kan..? Maaf, aku banyak tipu.. Apa aku rasa dengan kau.. Apa yang dah jadi.. Aku tak kisah dengan semua nie??? Ya, aku tipu... 

Sebab...

Aku taknak kau nampak aku lemah sangat.. Aku taknak kau nampak aku sedih.. Aku taknak kau rasa bersalah.. Yes, to be honest! Physically kita dekat tapi reality kita makin jauh.. Jauh sangat-sangat...

Aku selalu fikir.. Kenapa kita jadi macam nie? Sometimes, I hate myself bcoz I might only take a few sec to say hello but takes forever to say goodbye.. But again, I believe everything happened for a reason.. 

Sekarang...

Aku cuba bahagia dengan kawan-kawan yang lain.. Rasa kosong sebab takda kau.. Maaf  la sebab aku nie noob sangat! Annoying kan aku..? Ya, aku tahu tu...

Mungkin, satu hari nanti kalau kau takda kat sisi aku.. Jauh dari aku, aku cuba bahagia.. =) Mungkin! Just go with the flow.. 

Bukan niat aku nak menjauhi, apalagi membenci kau.. K.A.W.A.N

till then...